Phen log 4/13-4/21

(4/13) 149.2 I’ve hit a brick wall? I can’t loose any weight lol wtf. I’ve been feeling a bit better the past few days! It took long enough but I think my body is getting use to the phentermine again. Takes time right? I’ve noticed a increase in my almost non existent sex drive. It’s been nice and really good for my SO and I to be connecting on that level again. Let me be the first to tell you that sex is a HUGE part in a relationship. No matter how much anyone says it’s not or says it shouldn’t be.. It is. 

(4/14) 148.6                                                     Not much but it is something right? Lol 

(4/21) 145.0 

Oh yes. I am 20 pounds away from my ending goal. I can’t wait! Omg. Omg. Omg. I can’t believe this is really happening. I have been drinking a lot of Sprite lately because without I feel sick and can’t eat. They said its normal though so I will continue to drink Sprite and keep in under lock and keep! (Sometimes I forget or run out and that sucks).. Hmmm I dont think I’ve been having other symptoms.. So here’s that! I think the rest is my thyroid. 20 to go! 

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Living with Hypothyroidism

When you get diagnosed with a thyroid problem it doesn’t seem like a big deal at first. You have so many things that are wrong with you that a “thyroid problem” is the least of them. It’s not though, it truly sucks. I wish that it would just go away and never come back, but everyone wishes that about a lot of things. So many women go everyday without knowing they have a thyroid problem, but knowing that something is wrong. Over the years after being diagnosed I’ve noticed so many women complaining about the same symptoms that I had and when I ask them they don’t even know what it is or what it does. I honestly didn’t even know I had a “Thyroid Gland” until I had a baby.

Before I had kids there was nothing wrong with me, well health wise anyways LOL, just kidding. I was a health active teenager who was very sports oriented. But when I got pregnant a lot of things starting going wrong. It was probably because my body wasn’t ready to carry a baby, OOPS. After my oldest was born I lost almost all of my pregnancy weight and I had just started to feel good about myself at then it came pounding back, no pun intended lol. I was gaining so much weight everywhere and I didn’t know what to do. Nothing was working or even helping in the slightest. I just kept gaining all this weight and seriously I felt like all I could do was sit and watch it pack on. I started feeling sick and having headaches, I was cramping, loosing hair, I couldn’t sleep, I was ALWAYS hungry, and super emotional to the point it was hard to function. I felt so lost and alone. I finally made the decision to go back to my OB and figure this out because something was obviously wrong. Maybe I was pregnant? I made an appointment and my regular Obstetrician was booked so I went with a Nurse Practitioner, worse mistake ever. Okay not ever but seriously why did I do that. I had one of my friends take me to my appointment because my fiance (boyfriend at the time) was at work in payson and was unable to get it off. We did an ultrasound and my endometrium was super thick after I had just had my period which is super abnormal. I met with the NP after and we went over the results and she automatically just jumped in telling me that I shouldn’t have a kid, I’m too young, and basically just bashing on me. Then she tells me 2 options of why my endometrium is so thick and pretty much leaves it at that. Bitch.

1. A VERY EARLY ON PREGNANCY

2. CANCER

She told me to go get my blood drawn for a blood pregnancy test and then we will go from there. I was so beyond scared at this point that I didn’t know what to do. My son wasn’t even a year and I didn’t want another baby for while, but I sure as HELL did not want to have cancer. So I hoped and prayed for that pregnancy test to come back positive. I was at school when they called me a couple days later. It was right in the middle of class, I had explained to my teacher to circumstances and I was going to a young mothers school so they are all super understanding. I stepped out to take the call, it was only the lab that called me so they had no idea what was going on. She told me that the test was negative and I broke down bawling, this poor lady on the phone had no idea what to do and probably thought I was crazy for crying over a negative pregnancy test at 17 lol I tried calling my boyfriend over and over again but he was at work. I just sat there bawling not knowing what to do. I obviously couldn’t go back into class crying like this.. so I just sat. I felt like my whole world was falling apart. My teacher came out and bless her heart comforted me while I just fell to pieces.

I decided it was probably best to go back to see MY doctor and find out what the next step was. I was nervous and prepared for the worst, he told me we needed to get a ton of blood work done before we could confirm that it was cancer. More blood work, great. I got it drawn and anxiously waited for them to call and tell me everything was okay. Again a couple days later I got a call from the lab, my white blood cells were just fine! My thyroid levels were incredible off though. I didn’t really know what the meant so I scheduled a appointment and went in again. He told me that I did NOT have cancer, I had hypothyroidism. I was SO HAPPY. I didn’t even know what it was but thank god it wasn’t cancer. The rest of the visit was simple and easy. I got put on a synthetic thyroid hormone and because I was severely overweight I was prescribed “Phentermine” (which I have another blog post about). I was lucky to have got the right dose of Levothyroxine (The synthetic thyroid hormone medication) and all I had to do was get my blood tested once a month every month. I started loosing weight, feeling better, and being better.

BUT THEN i got pregnant with my youngest a year later and boy that just sent it all over the place after my daughter was born. I got tested and it was waaaay too high and so they put me on a .50 dose of medication and I tested again and it was waaaaaaay too low. Then it was .50 dose 4 times a week and .75 dose 3 times a week. I couldn’t loose ANY pregnancy weight and stuck right at the weight I delivered at. Again I got put on phentermine weighing in at 165.6, 2 ounces heavier than before lol.

Waking up everyday and knowing that I wouldn’t be able to eat for at least 30 minutes no matter how hungry I am sucks. After taking my medication it requires 30 minutes to dissolve on an empty stomach. It sucks. Medication can only do so much so I still feel so what crummy and my hormones are always all over the place. Weight is a big issue for women, I can’t loose any weight by myself. Not even dieting, exercising or both. I would much rather be on medication for it though.

MY PERSONAL SYMPTOMS: Headaches, fatigue, hair loss, constipation, no sex drive what so ever, weight gain, hormonal, depression and irregular uterine bleeding(Not sure if it’s due to my birth control, the depo shot orrrrr my thyroid problem)

I wish that people knew more about thyroid problems and how much it can affect your everyday life. It doesn’t matter if you are old or young. If you have any symptoms, especially if you’ve gave birth.. GO GET CHECKED. ITS A SIMPLY BLOOD TEST!

Click below to see if you have symptoms of hypothyroidism.

EVERY SINGLE SYMPTOM THERE IS!

Links to read further on what it is and what it do:

Hypothyroidism (Underactive Thyroid)

Less Common Symptoms

 

“You call that parenting?”

We live in a world where if things are done someone’s way it’s automatically bad parenting. There are so many things that I want to say about this because it honestly just makes my blood boil. I do have a hard time with it, I am a young mother and frequently get judged for just my age alone. Then comes the criticizing comments about parenting. The stares and whispers. It use to bother me and reeeeally get to me, but I’ve overcome it because I know I AM a good parent. I know that if don’t do things the way YOU do them, I am still a good parent. I am an awesome parent at that.

I’m very aware that I haven’t been able to experience “grown up” things for very long. As a matter of fact I was thrown into the thorns at 15. I had to grow and learn by myself with my SO. We as children set out to do the best we could learning all we could along the way before our child was born in 9 short but long months. So many people tried interfering and putting their two sense into the matter, but we knew how we wanted to do things and we tried our hardest not to listen to them. My whole pregnancy I listened to people say I should give my baby up for adoption, I was a whore for getting pregnant, me and my SO would NOT work out, the baby was better off with another family who was able to provide more. It really got to me, I can’t deny that. But as the baby grew inside me I knew more and more every day what I should do. He was mine, and no one was going to take that away from me. 

Growing up, my family was very set in their ways and kinda made me the same way. Good hygiene and proper etiquette were a must. So hearing other parents well you know.. Parenting.. Has been hard for me. One of the biggest things I have encountered is to circumcise or not. I HAD NO CLUE that people didn’t circumcise their children. At all! I’m serious! So while I was going to my young mothers school, we were apart of the daycare there for our children. Which included changing diapers every other period. I happened to fall on the “other” period lol my first boy diaper I changed was a little boy who was 3 1/2 years old. I was astonished. I did not no what to do… I changed him and went and talked to the daycare lady.. And she told me a lot of people choose not to circumcise! I was, gosh what’s the right word?! We will go with mindblown. Then, a week later.. I had a Latina girl I went to school with come up to me and ask me what was wrong with my sons penis. What. What. What. I again just had to sit there. What. Oh my lord. She had never seen a circumcised penis before. I didn’t know what to say lol she asked my why I chose to circumcise my son. I knew that part of course! 

1. Cleanliness. Because I don’t care if you are gods most prized best parent out there.. Boys ARE boys. Stinky, sweating, overdue for a shower, BOYS. They are lazy in their teens and some way on til they die! If they don’t want to clean. They won’t. And I know a few like that. There is so much bacteria and nasty sitting down there, if the skin isn’t cut it just sits there, unless of course the guy cleans. If not, that bacteria causes infections, swelling, pain, and sometimes even serious problems. Yeast infections are quite common in uncircumcised males. The part that reeeeally gets me is all of that yummy bacteria is sitting there UNTIL inter course. Oh yes, you guessed it. Oh lord, hold on a sec gotta go vomit. 

2. Appearance 

Yes. Appearance. Have you ever seen a soft uncircumcised penis? If not consider yourself blessed. Maybe I’m just a selfish inconsiderate woman, but I’d like to have the thing entering my body look somewhat please and CLEAN. But that’s not in this section lol talking to my SO about it, he told me that in his football and track teams there were 2-3 people uncircumcised. They were mildly made fun of and kinda embarrassed. Talking to girlfriends, a lot of these said they would much rather be with a circumcised man. 

3. Other reasons!

I hate. Hate hate hate. HATE. When mothers bring up the “torture” part of it. “It’s torture and should be illegal because it’s cutting of the most sensitive part of a mans body.” Come on. His penis is still sensitive. Still there, just not as much skin. Why are you even thinking about his future sex life? Lol. My SO other says sex is still great being circumcised. Soooo don’t worry he’s not suffering sexually. I have got this one thrown in my face plenty of times!

The other “torture” is people saying “Well could you imagine your clit being cut off because it’s the most sensitive part on your body. But you don’t see people don’t that, it’s illegal in the United States.” Yes my friends, I have infact had someone say that to me. A women’s clit isn’t going to change anything with cleanliness, appearance, or health wise. Sexually yes. But I DID NOT  choose to circumcise to “punish” my son sexually. Come on people. 

That’s just one of the MANY things people get so defensive about. Tell me I’m wrong or hurting my son. I’m “stupid” because I choose to circumcise. I don’t tell you your retarded. Your not and its YOUR choice. I have my reasons and you have yours. No need to bicker about something that’s already done and is something you should do at birth.

It bugs me that parenting HAS to be what people want or it’s automatically just shitty. 

Like there are SO many topics that people judge on and try to put their two sense with! It’s annoying is it not? I’ve got bashed for piercing my baby’s ears at a month old. My age for being a mother, No jacket in the middle of the day, co-sleeping with my little girl, Physically punishing my son- there’s a huge difference between punishing and abusing, breastfeeding in public, disaplining in public, and literally SO much more. 

Parent your child and not anyone else’s! Don’t be so quick to judge other parents, instead try and understand! That doesn’t mean you have to agree. 

People suck. 

While I grew up I had a lot of horrendous things happen to me. I had people do things that they would be embarrassed if I let the world know. Hell I have things I’d be embarrassed to share with you guys! I want to write a book so badly. But i know if I write a memoir so many family members will be upset. I’m young and I want to write the book while I still remember what happened to me. I feel like as time goes on I forget more and more details I once knew. Why is it that I am unable to write my life because other people are embarrassed about their actions? I’m trying to start living by the mentality of “If you didn’t want it out there for anyone to know, you shouldn’t have said it and you shouldn’t have done it.” It’s my life and I really shouldn’t be limited to protect other people’s egos. What about mine and what about them not protecting it all those years ago?! 

Nope. To them it’s completely different. Things are so once sided because they are older and more experienced. Hm. What to do…? 

My struggles, troubles and triumphs using Phentermine! 

At the age of 16, I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. I gained so much weight after I had my son and no matter what I did I couldn’t lose a single pound. Right before I went to the doctor my hypothyroidism was so bad I was gaining around a pound everyday. I was at my heaviest and I felt hopeless. I had heard about a medication by the name of “phentermine” that was guaranteed to shed the weight off. Now phentermine is used in extremely obese people, but it can also help women with thyroid problems lose the weight that has stuck around for waaaay to long. Once we identified that my thyroid was the problem, we made a plan. We would start my thyroid medication and make sure I was on the right dose, after about a month I would get my levels checked and if everything was okay I could start my weight-loss journey. I was seriously so excited, it was a looooong month. I started “Phentermine” on October 3, 2014 weighing in at 164.3 pounds. Which was only 3 pounds from my ending pregnancy weight with my son, Ezra. The first couple days of starting the medication were a blur, my body obviously wasn’t use to it and was trying to adjust. It took me about 4 days to get adjusted enough to be okay on my own. It was making me high, my doctor said it could be the mix of my thyroid medication and the phentermine. He gave me the option to quit or try and wait it out. My weight was so important to me that I stuck it out. And it was only a day later I adjusted to it. It wasn’t easy and it was kind of embarrassing. It doesn’t happen to everyone, but my doctor said it does happen to quite a few. My journey finally started. I was so anxious I weighed myself probably twice a day trying to see just how well it was working, overkill I know. In a month I went from 164.3 to 146.7! I started having “epidodes” and mild Schizophrenia. I was in the hospital a couple times for what was described as a “seizure”. My whole body went numb and I lost feeling. If I tried to move a limb it felt like a thousand pounds. I struggled to lift it and I would start shaking and I couldn’t keep it up for very long. I could talk after about an hour into whatever it was I was having. I regained feeling in my body slowly but about 2-3 hours later. After the 2nd time in the hospital and no answers I didn’t want to go anymore. When I got the bill in the mail I had been charged for probably every drug test there was. I then knew, that I wasn’t being taken serious at all. I was spent home from the hospital with a UTI. I didn’t even go in for those symptoms. So I waited my seizures out at home, I was done with being treated as a junkie. The worst part is, even though every SINGLE test came back NEGATIVE these still made me pay for all of them. I scheduled an appointment with a neurologist to try and sort this out. A month later on the MORNING of my appointment I got a call from them saying I was too “young” to see a regular neurologist, I had to go see a Pediatric Neurologist. So up we went, to the only Pediatric Nero. at Primary Children’s Hospital. By this time it was already early January 2015, the Doctor told me he didn’t know what it was, there were a few possibilities but he didn’t know. I did ask if it was the phentermine and he told me it was not. I went back to OB-GYN and he told me the same thing, whatever it was it wasn’t the phentermine. I was so frustrated with everything I just gave up on finding answers. Before I stopped phentermine I weighed 133 pounds! That was 7 POUNDS away from my pre-pregnancy weight! Another month passed and that whole month I was seizure free, and then we found out why.. I was pregnant! The episodes started before I got pregnant so we ruled out that the pregnancy was causing them. I personally believe that my pregnancy had stopped them. I haven’t had a single seizure sense then. I was however worried that I had been taking phentermine 2 months into my pregnancy. We got a whole ton of test done which, were able to tell us the sex of the baby very early on! I was so excited but yet so scared something would come back wrong with my baby because of the phentermine. I stopped cold turkey the day I found out I was pregnant but that still left the two months I hadn’t known about. Luckily the test came back normal and the sex was a girl! I was 12 weeks when we found out and 10 weeks when I took the tests. My thyroid stayed the same the whole pregnancy, it was a very very hard pregnancy though. After I gave birth my thyroid went crazy again and I has taken forever to get it back settled down. I was breastfeeding and dealing with heavy post-partum depression. My boyfriend had gotten a new job that required a very inconvenient schedule for 6 weeks of training. He worked from 1:00 pm to 9:30 pm Monday-Friday. Our baby was about a month old and being alone all the time was hard. I was prescribed anti-depressants and had to up my dose a couple times but then I started to feel better. I was on them for 6 and a half months before I decided I wanted to loose weight. Now before I started my phentermine I felt like I should google interactions with my anti-depressants and phen. The results were terrible, and I was so glad I had caught the interaction before taking the meds together which I was literally just about to do. Around 2 weeks ago I went to the doctor to finally get my thyroid settled and I got back on my original dose. And asked about the interaction just to confirm I couldn’t. I knew I wasn’t ready to stop taking my anti-depressants but I knew I would just be unhappy with myself because of the way I looked. He confirmed that the two meds together were not okay, he said he had only prescribed them together once and it had made the woman crazy. She started feeling suicidal, and eventually lost custody of her children. I also inquired about breastfeeding and phen, he didn’t have a problem prescribing the medication still. When I went in I weighed 165 pounds. Right back where we started right? I started phentermine again on March 6, 2016, I researched and researched all over the Internet about phentermine and breastfeeding, I absolutely did not want to stop breastfeeding and had already made my mind up that I would choose Breastfeeding over Phen. At my daughters 6 month check up, I was happy to find that her pediatrician okay’d phen while breastfeeding. I told him what I’d found on the internet and everything. So what I have to say to all of you, is listen to YOUR doctor, whether it’s your child’s pediatrician or your family practitioner THEY KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING. While doing my research I freaked myself out reading things other moms posted on websites, it then dawned on it that they had no idea what they were talking about. They didn’t take phen while breastfeeding and they don’t have a bachelors degree. Surprising enough every other medical article I read that was written by a professional didn’t bash on it. So I asked, and it was answered! Breast is best and now I get to have the best of both worlds without worrying about my daughters health! She’s been doing perfect, still gaining weight, NO decreased appetite like some of those moms had said, NO “jitters” or “shaking” at ALL. I had freaked myself out of absolutely nothing. Phentermine isn’t the easiest thing to take, but to me it’s worth it. With my thyroid problem it’s pretty much once the weight is there it’s not going to go away. Not with clean eating, not with exercise, not without help. Living with hypothyroidism sucks and it’s not easy. Your thyroid does so much more than you realize, and it’s not fun. This second time I have been on Phentermine I started logging my success and symptoms and will continue along the way. I hope that my journey and experiences with phentermine are able to help better your decision on whether to start your journey or not

.

 -With lots of love Mo. 
(3/6) Starting weight: 164.6

Day 1: Aggressive long lasting high feeling like with Percocet, subsided a bit with a meal. Shaky feeling most of the day. Lots of energy. Lower 50 dose of thyroid taken. No antidepressant day 1 without. 

(3/7) 162.4 : 2.2 pounds lost

Day 2: No high at all, weighed after breakfast. Heart beat seems faster. Higher 75 dose of thyroid taken. No antidepressant, day 2 without. 

(3/8) 159.6 : 5 pounds lost 

Day 3: No high, tummy feels upset.. Loose stool. Day 3 without antidepressants.. feeling a bit down. Went to the doctor for thyroid and antidepressants. Unable to take antidepressants due to high chances of a bad reaction between phen and the antidepressants. Sad but it will be okay, I know I wasn’t ready to come off of them though. Snappy and really short temper, I think it’s withdrawal symptoms.  

(3/9) 158.9 : 5.7 pounds lost 

Day 4: No high, I think we are past that. Tummy still upset, loose stool. Day 4 without antidepressants, happier today. 

(3/13) 158.2: 6.4 pounds lost 

Day 8: Anti depressants are almost out of system.. Very emotional and having a hard time. 

(3/16) 157.8: 6.8 pounds lost 

Day 11: Just got over the stomach flu, been hard to eat. Super shaky, lots of energy. Super short tempered and super emotional. 

(3/22) 154.5 10.1 pounds lost! 

Day 17: Wow, over the last week I have began to have SO much energy. I used to sleep in til 11-12 which is hard to do with 2 kids. But I felt unable to wake up, now I’m up before the kids sometimes! Today I was up at 8 and wasn’t tired enough to fall back asleep! I rarely find myself sleeping in til 10. I’m usually up at 9:00-9:30 daily! I’ve learned that if I don’t eat a half hour after taking the thyroid and phentermine meds I feel super sick and I’m unable to eat very much the rest of the day. I really should start being on top of eating on time. 

(3/23) —-

Day 18: I feel terrible today, I didn’t eat for two hours because it was so early and cold aaaaand I was super lazy, shame on me. Eating was hard when I actually got to it. Now I’m sitting in the bath because my tummy is so upset. I’ve seriously got to remember to eat exactly 1/2 after taking the medication. Been up since 7…kinda dragging but I am going! Note; I’ve also noticed when I don’t eat, later that day it gets kinda hard to breathe. Maybe it mixed with my asthma? 

(3/26) 152.3 12.3 pounds lost 

Day 22: I think that .75 is too much thyroid medicine. I’m so grumpy and short tempered , it’s so annoying. I’m frustrated. Haha frustrated of being uncontrollably frustrated.

(4/3) 149.0  15.6 pounds lost 

Day: 30: Wow, it’s been over a year since I’ve weighed less than 150, it feels amazing. In one month I’ve lost 15 pounds! It’s crazy and it rocks. I’ve been super emotional I’m not sure if it’s cause my body is still getting use to no anti-depressants? I have noticed that I’ve been exhibiting signs of pregnancy, nothing to do with the phen of course. But I think my birth control is hard core tricking my body into believing it’s pregnant. I just keep getting more and more pregnancy symptoms it’s so weird. I know I’m not pregnant but I guess taking a test to ease my mind would be ideal. I’ve been having heartburn, nausea, cravings, mood swings.. But, I’ve been bleeding for almost 2 months now.. it’s only spotting so I just put a liner on and by the end of the day it just has a line some days are worse than others but it’s still mild. I experienced sleep paralysis for the first time since I was pregnant with Maggie (weird I know but it only happens while I’m pregnant; both pregnancies I’ve had) it’s been so long I forgot how to control it and I freaked out and stopped breathing till I could wake myself up. I’m going to end up writing an article about it for you all to read, so many people experience it daily and don’t understand it. It’s scary but it is manageable. 

 Sprite has honestly become my best friend, it helps keep my stomach settled and allows me to eat normally, even if I don’t eat on time in the morning! Yay! The joys of mommy hood lol I’ve noticed that I’ve been losing weight in the most odd places! The other day I was walking and my feet kept sliding out of my shoes!(slip-on toms) I’ve always had chubbier feet and never been able to wear a lot of shoes but my feet even look skinnier! Odd right? Another place I’ve lost weight.. Not a good one. I’m Caucasian okay, us white people DO NOT I repeat DO NOT usually ever have big booties. If you do have a big booty you have been blessed. I had a tiny butt, now.. My fiancé says I might as well be sitting on my back. Lordy. What do I do?! I better get going on some squats or something lol 

My boobs aren’t a problem, since I’m nursing they still have been getting bigger. I actually just went up a size. I’m now a size E, oh gosh can we like transfer some of that to the no booty I’ve got going on?

 Oh nursing, it’s been going great. From everything I’ve read unprofessional/mothers thoughts.. I’ve experienced nothing like that with Maggie. No increased or decreased feedings, no jitters, no elevated pulse, and that’s all I can think of. She’s lost a couple ounces but that’s because she’s been up and starting to crawl and constantly sitting up. Which is normal.