Back on Track! Phen Log!

(5/20) 143.0 

20 lbs pounds lost so far, thank god. 

Okay so this isn’t a lot but it means I’m loosing weight again! Last time I checked in I wasn’t losing anything. I didn’t feel like logging since because I gained a pound and I was moody about it. But it’s gone! 😍 it’s so crazy that every pound makes you feel great when your trying to loose weight. My weight loss progress the first time I was on it was so much faster and easier. This time I feel like it’s taking ages.. That I don’t have because of the wedding! And it’s been a lot harder on my body. I feel so sick all the time and it’s hard to eat. I’ve also noticed I’ve been incredibly overly mad all the time. I honestly think that my depression is coming back. I was doing extremely well for a month or two though! I’ve read that if you aren’t ready to get off of your anti depressants and you do any ways you can relapse. I know I wasn’t ready but being a girl it’s hard to be overweight. So it was either.. Be on antidepressants and be up happy with myself or take phentermine and deal with the real possibility of PPD coming back again. Fuck. Why can’t I just be happy and have things work. 

(5/24) My thyroid is off again, BIG SURPRISE THERE. It’s so swollen that it’s pushing against my throat. Whenever I push on it, it make a weird noise and pops. I’m having a really hard time sleeping at night, I can’t fall asleep no matter how hard I try. I’ve been getting about 4-5 hours of sleep a night. Really starting to catch up to me, mentally and physically. Guys. Being a girl sucks. 


Maggie’s birth story!

I had a nightmare pregnancy with my second child. I was set to graduate high school and I couldn’t leave the toilet long enough for one class period, I had contractions early on and my doctor said that if I were to go into labor before 25 weeks there would be nothing that they could do for me and I should just wait it out at home.. and my school was in another city, so commuting was just not in my favor. My son was a little over 2 and I toke him to school with me and I was just ugh. I almost didn’t graduate honestly.
I had also just started my own business and I had to put that on hold. Actually the funny part is a WEEK after I graduated I went into pre-term labor because my SO wanted to go to the zoo for his birthday and really wanted me to go, it was his birthday come on. I couldn’t say no and feel bad about not spending the day with him on his 19th birthday.. I knew that it wasn’t a good idea and I knew that it wasn’t going to be pleasant I mean I  couldn’t even get up and make dinner without having contractions that made me cry.. How was this going to work. About 10 minutes into walking they started, I put my sunglasses on and just tried to be a big girl and suck it up. I walked through that whole freaking zoo. It’s a zoo, its huge. I was dying, and I had to finally say something because I thought I was in labor. I was bawling but still trying not to make a big scene. We walked clear across the zoo back to the car and they wanted to go eat.. So we went up the canyon and went to a little cafe, the food was super good but I was having overbearingly contractions the whole time. I was crying (sunglasses) and trying to massage my tummy. I knew I wasn’t in full labor because there wasn’t much pressure down in my pelvic region. After going home I slept it off and went to my OB in the morning.. I was dilated to a tight 3 and 60% effaced i think? So I was put on bed rest. I had contractions every time I got up to do anything small or big. I was so miserable because I couldn’t get up and play with my son, I couldn’t clean, bend over, go outside, be human. So I purchased a awesome thing called a TV for my room and signed right up for Netflix. I seriously was so tired of being in bed or on the couch all the time. I had to wake up and take my thyroid medicine and drink a cup of coffee, if I didn’t I would have migraines the rest of the day. I was so annoyed and unhappy and just done. 
A month later, the 4th of July..We went out to a parade in the morning and you guessed it I was contracting so bad we almost went in the hospital. I got home and laid down in bed preparing for the night ahead. We went to my SO’s families house for fireworks and a really yummy BBQ! Contractions were there for sure. The whole night I thought I was just sweating super bad. I got home and it was still going.. It was still GOING. OMG. I was contacting, there was pressure and my water.. omg omg omg. I laid down, put a pad on and tried to lay it out lol okay that was a poor pun. It gradually stopped and I knew that my water had broken but it stopped.. Sooo what was going on? I called the hospital and because I was laying down and my contractions weren’t consitant they said to just keep myself clean, no sex, bathes, or soap near my vagina. I went in to my OB after the weekend and the confirmed my water had torn at the top but any remaining amniotic fluid that had leaked out was gone because I waited so long to get tested. Usually when it tears at the top it heals up and is fine..
A few weeks later I got diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes which resulted in having to test my glucose levels 4 times a day when waking up and 2 hours after eating each meal. I had to go to a Diabetes clinic and get on a meal plan. All of those pregnancy cravings and free passes? Don’t even think about it. I had a certain amount of points I was able to eat per meal/snack and had to read labels before buying anything. If there was more than half the sugar in the carbs I couldn’t eat it. omg not even done yet. I had to go all the way out to my OB 2 times a week which is in AF and I live in Provo for stress tests and to manage my levels which were not being managed. I was doing everything they told me and not splurging, eating out or anything.. My levels were still super super high. I got put on insulin pills but the pills said that you shouldn’t take them 2 weeks before delivering. UH OKAY. I’m in preterm labor 34 weeks and we are talking about induction.. but you want to put me on medication that says not to take under my circumstances. Well still on bed rest.
Rewind to 30 weeks.. this is when we started worrying about pre-eclampsia.. I was in the hospital for a kidney infection and literally was screaming in pain which is when we found the high protein in my urine. I had to do urine collections for 24 hours 2 different times and at 33 weeks we knew pre-eclampsia was coming and I was going to get induced early. I was put in the hospital at 35 weeks and got steroid shots for my little one and those seriously sucked lol I wouldn’t take it back but seriously I wouldn’t want to do that again. I didn’t even know that a shot could hurt that bad. That night I woke up in the middle of the night and my pulse was racing, I felt like I was going to pass out and my blood sugar was out of this world high, the baby wasn’t moving much either. I went back to sleep and in the morning called the hospital, they had forgot to tell me that this would be normal with the shots and my gestational diabetes. Thanks guys.
Right at 36 weeks I went in to my doctor, by this time I was in the doctors office 3-4 times a week. He took my blood pressure, I did the usual pee in a cup and he looked at my blood sugar levels. He told me that I needed to go over to the hospital that day and we would begin the induction BUT Maggie would most likely end up in the NICU because how young she was. I asked if we could go get a few things and shower. He told me that it was fine just hurry.. I went and got a Brazilian wax touch up lol anddd off to the hospital! Finally! I was so nervous and scared but excited. It was just a huge rush of emotions. I was worried about the NICU but a part of me knew that she would be completely fine. SO off we went! We said goodbye to Ezra my oldest and headed off the hospital. When I got there and they started the induction they told me that I had to be on a magnesium drip with the pitocin and it was probably going to slow my labor down a lot because they fight against each other. Dr. Young came in and told me to expect a early morning baby probably around 3-4 in the morning. What, I didn’t want to wait that long lol. He was in his basketball shorts and shirt lol He was going to play basketball? LOL. After he broke my water and left, they asked me if I wanted my epidural and I couldn’t really feel anything so I said no and then 10 mins later I called the nurse saying that I was in alot of pain.. She told me that the anesthesiologist was 15 mins out, that itself was just a long time to wait haha! The guy took 40 MINS TO GET TO THE HOSPITAL WTF. He gave me the epidural and guess what? YEP IT DIDN’T FREAKING WORK. He took so long to get there that he was still in the room when I gave birth lol I was so uncomfortable and in so much pain, but personally I felt like a dealt with it like a champ. My nurse checked my cervix literally right after I got my epidural and told me I was at 7 cm and I was like noooo I am having sooooo much pressure down there I can feel everything and I know that she’s coming now. And she didn’t believe me. She checked again 5 mins later after me sitting there through contractions nagging her that I know her SHE’S COMING and  low and behold was she surprised.. MAGGIE’S HEAD WAS RIGHT THERE. She told me not to push the doctor wasn’t there yet, keep in mind my epidual wasn’t working. oh guess what, it worked right after I gave birth. wtf. okay But the whole NICU team was in there just waiting for the baby… and I was waiting for the doctor and the baby wasn’t waiting for anyone lol Dr. Young told me I could have a baby today or tomorrow (it was 11;54pm) haha funny one doc! I chose now! I was in labor for 2 and a half hours. No more babies if I have to do that again. BUT she came out just fine despite what everyone thought. 5 lbs and 15 ounces! No nicu time! Because of my medication it made her eyes swollen at birth and I was a little uh.. lets say worried they would stay like that. It wasn’t her fault but it wasn’t too attractive lol

The only thing that sucked is because of my magnesium drip I had to keep my catheter in for 24 hours to make sure things were okay and working properally. I also had to have blood pressure cuffs on my legs to make sure I didn’t get blood clots. They were super annoying and were constantly waking me up with the loud errrrrrrrrrr sound as they filled up and then kushhh, kushhh, kushhh as it released the air and the beeeeep of the reading. The next morning the Dr. that sent me to get induced came in and was seriously surprised that my daughter was in the room and okay. I let him hold her and he couldn’t believe how small she was! Let’s just say I was glad to be released and go home to my little family. 

 She was born exactly one month early. August 24, 2015! Weighing 5 pounds and 15 ounces and a short 18 and a half inches long! She was born at 11:54 pm ❤
I suppose the only problem that we had with her was she had a hard time regulating her body temperature because of how small she was. After the hospital she had jaundice, which at first I wasn’t worried about because Ezra had it mildly and we gave him water and it went away. It didn’t with Maggie though, it just kept going up and then it shot up. We had to get a bilirubin bed, all I could do was cry that she had to be in there all day. I couldn’t stand the fact that I had to just sit there and watch her but I couldn’t love her and hold her.. I was happy that it only took one night in the bed to get it to go down. No more bed (: She’s perfectly perfect now, 8 months old and 18 and a half pounds! Oh my, liquid gold ladies (;