I see you, because I am you.
It starts slowly with feeling so alone but too scared to make friends. Sometimes your brace enough online or texting but going out on a girls date.. Woah. I can’t even imagine it, actually I can and that’s the sad part. I want to go out and do things and have friends. But my best friend Anxiety doesn’t, and most of the time we do what it wants to do. It’s so frustrating knowing that people want to be my friend but I get SICK to my stomach thinking about leaving my comfort zone to join them. I’m just stuck here chained to my BFF anxiety. I didn’t sign up for this and I am certainly not married to it, so why is there this heavy seemingly unbreakable ball and chain attached to us?
Anxiety sucks and people don’t seem to understand it comes in many forms and varieties. It’s not just crying uncontrollably or panicking. It’s also staying at home while all your friends go out. It’s crying and feeling alone even though you have tons of opportunities to go out and be free. Free? No such thing. I’ve found myself so secluded to myself the past few years I would almost rather stay home than go out and face people. That however doesn’t mean I don’t want friends. I just want comfort too. Is that too much to ask?
It’s OKAY to feel that way. It’s okay to want comfort. It’s okay because a lot of us feel the same way too but we are too scared to say anything.